ON THE LIGHTER SIDE

Junque?

I like this time of year. It can be a bit chilly out here on the verandah in February but I like watching and reading the stuff from prognosticators who are looking for a little extra work. Usually around the New Year, they come out with predictions and forecasts for the coming year.

Here are a few:

Warmer than normal winter? Safe bet!

Oil prices to go lower? I don’t know about that. Given the numbers of gas guzzlers disguised as utility vehicles still on the road, I’d say there’s going to be demand at the pumps to keep our friends in Alberta just as friendly.

Land prices going higher? Also a safe bet, now that crop prices have rebounded.

How about trends? My better 7/8ths says the interior decorators and house and home type magazine layouts are turning their backs on antiques and going for a contemporary look. Solid wood is out, veneers and the austere look are in. Just when I thought our trappings in the Big House were back in style, they went and changed everything on me. Think I am going to throw out that pine cupboard or the oak rocker? Not on your life!

But another trend I picked up on was something you have seen creeping into every neighbourhood. It is identified by the business which is profiting from it. Storage units for rent are everywhere and from what I understand, the companies that manage them are profiting from the latest trend. It’s called minimalization…supposedly making your life simpler by getting rid of the clutter.

People, especially so-called boomers are casting off their trappings from the last 30 to 40 years and only keeping out the smallest amount of their belongings (aka junque). Boomers are also keepers of their parents ‘stuff’. Thanks to the Great Depression, their parents never threw anything out and as a result, stuff they thought valuable becomes boat anchors to the next generation.

Remember when the comic George Carlin did a routine called ‘Stuff”. It was hilarious but it did make the point that we all have stuff we value and no one else does.

But eventually our homes get stuffed with stuff and there’s so little room left, you can’t even swing a cat for hitting something. Sometimes our spouses determine it for us. “Either that moose head goes, or I go, take your pick,” she threatens. So off goes this stuff to the storage lockers. I can’t believe it! We are paying good money to keep the rest of our junk out of the way.

Something interesting about how these storage locker businesses operate. If you don’t pay your rent, the company can cabbage your goods. They put the stuff up for auction. The sales are usually done sight unseen, one unit at a time. The auctioneer simply opens the door and says, “What am I bid?” Urban legend or not, I heard of one such ‘repo’ where there was a Harley at the back of the locker and some lucky bidder at the auction became an instant biker. He also got a locker full of junk to go along with his prize.

Now for me, I don’t have to rent a storage locker, you should see my machinery shed. You can hardly see the tractor for the junk. I am afraid to admit it but I too just can’t stand throwing stuff out. There, I said it. I am beginning to feel better already.

So with this trend of minimalization going on, you would think after awhile, sales of new junk to replace the old junk would dry up. Not so. You see, part of the trend is to refresh the new old junk with something else that is different. A little like the grocer as he rotates his stock. Except no one is buying this stuff from people’s homes! It just sits there until it too becomes old and must go to the storage locker.

Which brings me to ask the question, for what? All we are doing is making the decorating stores and storage locker people richer.

I guess you could say it is the curmudgeon in me for asking this question. But for just this one time, please tell me, what was wrong with the old junk?