ON THE LIGHTER SIDE

I had no idea there were so many communities which banned clotheslines, until I heard our fearless leader Macguillicuddy, pronounce with vigour that there shalt not be a ban on clotheslines in this province. I hope he didn’t spend too much of my money pushing through this legislation. Frankly, I think the market place should be telling the developers of these new clothesline free subdivisions what to do with their covenants. That was until I found out that homebuyers moving up the social scale had to sign, as a requirement of their new mortgage, a document that required them to swear off clotheslines. At least up until our premier squelched the idea.

For a clothesline user such as myself, I find it hard to believe that some think the sight of laundry offensive. But then again, I am not your typical suburbanite who wants everything his or her way.

The ‘Right to Dry’ movement in the U.S. was pivotal in quashing clothesline bans. They say looking at it from an environmental viewpoint, if all automatic clothes dryer users quit using their energy thieves, we could reduce the amount of carbon emissions to the equivalent of 250,000 cars per year. No one mentions the other benefits. Clean, fresh smelling clothes are one of the pleasures in life, although I will admit when it is manure spreading day at my cattle farmer neighbour’s place I have to wait a day or so, until the smell goes away. Then, there is the savings on the clothes’ lifespan. Where do you think all that dryer lint comes from? Someone else suggests for argument’s sake, that going out-of-doors to hang laundry is good for the soul and for our health. Try convincing me of that when I go out in the middle of winter to hang up some things. You just can’t handle a clothes pin with gloves on. All kidding aside, the clothesline has year round duty at the Big House. Yes, we have a gas-fired dryer (which apparently is more efficient than electric) that gets used on inclement days.

Hanging laundry out-of-doors is the backbone of our social fabric. You must have seen the beautiful ads promoting tourism to Newfoundland. It features colourful laundry, flapping in the strong sea winds on the coast of The Rock. It makes me want to go back there.

Another social thing about clotheslines is of a competitive nature. We had a British woman stay at our rural B&B a few years back. She owned a B&B as well, back in a small town on the old sod. As she explained it, there were several neighbouring homes serving as offshore oil rig worker’s accommodations in this boom town. She said the goal for the women in her block was to see who could get their clotheslines filled by morning tea time. That’s when these women would get together in someone’s home for tea and share stories and boast about their laundry prowess.

I traveled to Holland a while back and you know how small the properties are there. Not enough room for a clothesline. Well in this one small town, the municipality shows their environmental leadership by building a communal linear, solar powered drier in the neighbourhood park. Parents bring the kiddies to play and they dry their clothes and socialize at the same time.

I also recall from days gone by when a group of historic re-enactors showed the public how laundry used to be done when this fair land was being settled and before running water was even dreamt of. The women would go down to the clear-flowing river and beat clothes on rocks or a wash board, rinsed and wrung them out and simply spread them out on the nearest foliage to dry. No ropes needed there. While these pioneers had no idea what caused disease, they did know about and subscribed to the cleansing properties of Old Sol.

There, I think the history lesson is over. Oh, one more. Go out and rent George Clooney’s “Oh Brother, Where art thou?’ and check out the
siren segment. It gives new meaning to doing the laundry.

Fast forward to today. I read with interest the responses from the public and from editorial departments at the various rags across the province and you can bet Macguillicuddy saw this one as a real votegetter. Virtually every letter to the editor and numerous editorials supported clothesline use. It took the Premier long enough, though. Apparently he promised this law back in 2003 and that’s when all the clothesline fans voted him in. Meantime no action took place as he continued to say he was working on convincing municipalities and the development community that their asinine covenants were bogus and would never stand up in court.

Well, now that it is the law, we can all breath a sigh of relief that we can all go outside, guilt-free, protected by our province and hang up our linens, dirty or not, to dry.